Victoria Noelle

Good Friday felt especially heavy for me this year.  All of Holy Week has felt different, but Friday struck a particularly difficult, but appreciative cord.  Good Friday has always meant a lot to me, even before I participated in a worship culture that focused on the entirety of Holy Week.  I have a hard time looking past the death to the resurrection sometimes.  I l ove Sunday, I am so grateful for Sunday but I've never been able to fully look past Friday. Just when I struggled to identify why this year felt heavier than most, I found Jen Hatmaker's personal reflections , and in them, a piece of understanding. And a peace of understanding for that matter. While I have not felt the public backlash that she has endured this last year, I similarly feel like an outsider of the Machine.  I haven't written much about my dissent with the American Church because I know it is unaccepting and even more so unwilling to listen or engage.  Even now I struggle to pu...

let's be real.  I'm not very good at rest.  I am  good at being lazy and watching NCIS for an entire day, even though I've already seen every episode multiple times. But intentional resting? I'm not so great at that. But that's where I find myself. I was actually really looking forward to this season because the last one was so tough. so busy. so much work and so demanding, that the idea of only having one major time commitment sounded so wonderful.  And for the first several weeks, I really did love it.  My stress level has gone down significantly and it's so freeing to wake up and realize that there's not really anything I have to do and there aren't any deadlines looming.  A part of me really misses the work I was doing during the grad program, but thankfully I still find my daily (nightly) job really fulfilling.  I've had several great patients and families the last few weeks, so that certainly helps on the job satisfaction front. But I ca...