Posts

on writing. again.

"Writing is my original way of understanding the world." Shauna Niequist, For The Love Podcast like the rest of the world (or a bit behind the times) I've recently started listening to several podcasts, including Jen Hatmaker's new one called For The Love... (because #teamhatmaker) and her first interview was with Shauna Niequist, author of  Bread and Wine,   Bittersweet   & Savor .  I actually haven't read any of those books, but I own two of them and liked the bits and pieces I've read in the last few years.  I really loved her interview because it focused on hospitality which is one of my goals for this year, but it was this quick mention about the nature of writing in her life that struck a chord with me.  I essentially stopped writing a few years ago.  Blame it on busyness, blame it on writing for school instead of for myself, blame it on a lost voice or a discouraged heart, but the truth of the matter is that when I stopped writing, my mind...
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Pandemic Thoughts

I've been forcing my students to journal their thoughts and feelings for weeks now, but I haven't written a single word for myself.  The habit tracking line for "writing" in April is completely blank, even though I know how good writing is for my mental health.  Today, in an effort to postpone writing and giving a lecture on Injury Prevention and Workplace Safety, I started reading old blog entries from when I was a senior in college, ten years ago.  And I realized it was nice to have a record of what I was feeling and experiencing during that specific time, so I spent 15 minutes figuring out how to best access this website again, and started a new post. Here's the thing. I am feeling all the things about this global pandemic, and it's hard to organize them all.  My brain seems to be working overtime in an attempt to though, because it's not even quiet while I sleep- I've had some crazy dreams in the last few weeks. Last night I was finally called up...
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When Friday Comes Before Sunday

Good Friday felt especially heavy for me this year.  All of Holy Week has felt different, but Friday struck a particularly difficult, but appreciative cord.  Good Friday has always meant a lot to me, even before I participated in a worship culture that focused on the entirety of Holy Week.  I have a hard time looking past the death to the resurrection sometimes.  I l ove Sunday, I am so grateful for Sunday but I've never been able to fully look past Friday. Just when I struggled to identify why this year felt heavier than most, I found Jen Hatmaker's personal reflections , and in them, a piece of understanding. And a peace of understanding for that matter. While I have not felt the public backlash that she has endured this last year, I similarly feel like an outsider of the Machine.  I haven't written much about my dissent with the American Church because I know it is unaccepting and even more so unwilling to listen or engage.  Even now I struggle to pu...
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Rest

let's be real.  I'm not very good at rest.  I am  good at being lazy and watching NCIS for an entire day, even though I've already seen every episode multiple times. But intentional resting? I'm not so great at that. But that's where I find myself. I was actually really looking forward to this season because the last one was so tough. so busy. so much work and so demanding, that the idea of only having one major time commitment sounded so wonderful.  And for the first several weeks, I really did love it.  My stress level has gone down significantly and it's so freeing to wake up and realize that there's not really anything I have to do and there aren't any deadlines looming.  A part of me really misses the work I was doing during the grad program, but thankfully I still find my daily (nightly) job really fulfilling.  I've had several great patients and families the last few weeks, so that certainly helps on the job satisfaction front. But I ca...
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